November, 2006
As the treatment of terminal illnesses or aging diseases becomes more comprehensive, more attention is being paid to the needs of their caregivers.
November has been National Caregivers Month, when organizations such as the National Family Caregivers Association focus on the concerns of caregivers to improve their lives and ultimately the lives of those in their ward.
Family and friends often become consumed with caring for a loved one, and feel guilty about taking breaks to care for themselves. But caregivers are becoming more aware that they must maintain their own lives in order to take good care of the sick.
At the monthly meeting of the Caregivers Outreach Support Group, a couple describes the difficulty of dealing with her parents, who are becoming senile.
“I’ve been in it about 10 months and I really appreciate the group because I realize I’m not in it all alone. We’ll call each other occassionally, especially when you’re down and out,” said Sharon Sporadau, who cares for her husband.
The group, which usually gathers in Washington County’s Public Agency Center on the third Tuesday of each month, shares the frustrations of legalities and technicalities, sighs of solidarity and, on occasion, a laugh.
“Even though its really hard for all of us, we can have a sense of humor and yet help other people,” Sporadau said.
The group grew out of a series of county Office on Aging classes called Powerful Tools for Caregiving. Bette Koch, who cares for her husband, volunteered to facilitate the support group to accommodate continued interest.
“We share a lot of tips and hints. We are people then that care about the other people, because we’re walking in each other’s shoes,” Koch said. “It’s just a casual sharing group. It’s a place where you can let down your hair.”
Caregiving can be daunting, Koch said, because of the difficult issues that might arise. Everything from paying the bills to using the bathroom can be a chore when a loved one is mentally or physically incapacitated.
“What do you do when maybe when your spouse or parent that’s of a different sex needs to use the restroom?” Koch said. From adult diapers to simply going for a haircut, the responsibility can be overwhelming.
“One of the toughest one is when we have to ask our elderly parents and probably spouses to give up a lot of their personal belongings,” Koch said.
But Koch said the financial issues were paramount for caregivers. To help caregivers deal with the maze of monetary issues, the group has hosted experts as guest speakers.
“We talk about going into Title 19 and if it’s a spousal situation how to set up the finances,” Koch said. “It’s important to have lawyers that are well-versed in the problems of aging and health, and you have to work your way through lots and lots of laws. They just smooth the way for you because it’s just way too tough for a nonprofessional person to try to work their way through.”
Sporadau said the guidance in making legal arrangements was a big help. Waiting for the unexpected can make executing a will so tedious and technical that a person’s dying wishes might not be fulfilled.
“They did help us with handing out papers for all of our final things to be done the legal way,” Sporadau said. “We’re really all set up for the end, which you gotta do.”
The group is supported by the county’s Office on Aging, which Kock called an incredible and indispensable public agency — offering resources from contact information to inexpensive rental of crutches and other orthopedic aids.
“I have talked to other counties and so on and I think we’re just very lucky to thave them here. We have to remember these things are county supported, funded and supported,” Koch said. “We’re very lucky in Washington County to have the financial support for these types of programs.”